Liesel Plays Star Wars Games

Welcome back to the insane difficulty of Super Empire Strikes Back. We just fought our way through the snow and the Imperials, but we’re not off Hoth yet. Now it’s my Han’s turn to take the spotlight as he makes his way through the collapsing Rebel Base.



Han’s sprite is wearing that trademark ESB blue jacket, which is awesome in itself, but of course everything is out to kill him. Literally the moment you start the level, a beam falls from the ceiling and it’s nearly impossible to avoid it. Then there are the laser cannons, the stormtroopers, the flames shooting up from the floor – how will Han ever survive to get stabbed by his son in thirty years?

There are also these platforms that go ZOOMING when you step on them. It’s quite a harrowing ride.



Oh, and if Han stands idle, he’ll twirl his blaster Western-style – HA!



This level’s a bit of a maze. The zooming platforms can go up or down depending on the direction you choose and sometimes you find yourself at a dead end. Who knew that Echo Base had such a convoluted layout? However, you’ll find blaster upgrades and other powerups at some of these dead ends, so it’s not too frustrating.

Eventually, Han runs into a . . . what IS that thing?



Is that a droid? A stormtrooper? A stormtrooper droid? Whatever it is, it wants Han dead FAST. It can eat up your health super-quickly, but fortunately it only takes a few shots to kill. But then just a few steps later, there’s ANOTHER one.

Oh, and did you think they were the level bosses? Nope, the level keeps going after you kill them. Han heads outside and strangely enough doesn’t freeze to death even though he’s not dressed for the weather at all.



And then comes the REAL level boss – an insanely deadly Imperial combat vehicle.



Like with most of the vehicle bosses, you have to shoot off the weaponry before you can do damage to the boss itself. If you have grenades, USE THEM! Once the weapons are all shot off, the thing starts zipping around erratically and it also dispatches bombs because why wouldn’t it? Shoot the damn thing like crazy.

And what do you know, Han still hasn’t found Leia. Maybe she’s already taken off without him. Anyway, this level is pretty much the same as the last one, except now you’ve got droids chasing you too. Oh, and the level boss is . . . A FREAKIN’ AT-ST WALKER!



Yes, Han has to take on an AT-ST walker all by himself without so much as the Force to help him. I knew he was badass, but this is SUPER badass.

This battle’s actually easier than it looks if you have full health and the highest blaster upgrade. Focus on shooting off the AT-ST’s gun, then shoot at it like crazy and it goes down fast, then head over to Leia, who looks like she’s saying “What TOOK you so long?” Well, Your Worship, I only had to take down an AT-ST walker in order to get to you, no biggie!



Well, Han and Leia take off in the Falcon and we get a bit of their banter.



And this probably means we’re going to be shooting some TIE Fighters, aren’t we? What's a Star Wars game without shooting TIE Fighters?



Yup, we’re shooting TIE Fighters, and asteroids – we’re in the asteroid field, after all. You’ve got to shoot fifteen TIEs before your shields conk out, which is easier said than done given how the rocks are EVERYWHERE. Just keep your finger on the trigger and your eye on the radar.

Funny thing, though. After you shoot all the TIEs, the screen shows a hyperspace jump. Ummm . . . don’t
the game designers remember how the Falcon’s hyperdrive was DAMAGED? That’s like, a major plot point of the movie. I mean, these games never promised to be 100% faithful to the movies, but it seems like animating the hyperspace jump was an extra bit of work they didn’t need.

Anyway, now we join Luke on Dagobah.



But before we find Yoda, we have to find R2, who’s gone missing. I guess he got spat out much further than he did in the movie.



Dagobah’s pretty atmospheric. The sound effects give off the feeling of being in a swampy area and the environment is nicely detailed.



You can also get your first Force power here – once again, it’s levitation. These early SW games seem to really like making Luke levitate. Anyway, after cutting through a bunch of swamp creatures, it doesn’t take long to find R2.



For some reason I really like the picture that goes with the cutscene of Luke finding R2. I don’t know why, but I find it adorable.



There’s not much to be said about the next level – it’s just some more fighting through the swamp to get to Yoda. Well, piranhas and alligators chase you relentlessly, but if you keep lightsabering them it’s not too difficult to find Yoda.

Yoda delivers a lengthy speech about the Force which ends with his most famous quote . . . well, half of it.



I mean, seriously, why did they cut off “There is no try”? Did they run out of words? Why not cut out some of his Force speech then? Seems pretty weird to slice off the ending of his most famous quote.

Anyway, the next level has a bunch of Force powers for you to collect that will become super-useful throughout the game, but you need the levitation Force power from the previous level in order to get them. So, if you didn’t get the levitation power, you’re screwed.

Doesn’t sound so hard . . . except that the screen autoscrolls. Dammit, I HATE autoscrolling levels in platformers. Oh, and to top it all off, you’re fighting on top of some big long snake . . . thing that takes up the entire length of the level. Maybe a space slug came to visit Dagobah.

Well, I’ve gotta get the Force powers, ESPECIALLY Heal. Heal does exactly what it says, though I’m not quite sure how you can Force-heal yourself given that Force-healing involves transferring energy from one person to another, so how does transferring energy to yourself work?

And what do you know, the boss is the head of that giant snake thing we’ve been walking on.



I don’t think it appreciated Luke walking on its back. Anyway, this battle is pretty much designed for you to have Force healing, so make sure you use it when you’re low on health. You have to take out its four eyes AND its nose before you can do any damage to it, plus it constantly spits out this little caterpillar things that do damage to you. After you take out its eyes and nose, it’ll speed up and go crazy, but now you can hurt it. Also, when it lights up to indicate that you hurt it, the ground you’re on lights up too since you’re on its body and all. Pretty cool.

Well, now we rejoin Han and Leia as they land on Bespin . . . though I’m not quite sure why they went to Bespin in this version if the Falcon’s hyperdrive was never damaged, but whatever.



Anyway, we’re back to controlling my Han . . . and you’d think he’d get clued in that Lando’s going to betray him when everything on Bespin’s trying to kill him. Right from the start, hostile droids and cloud cars are EVERYWHERE, all shooting at Han before he even gets off the landing platform. There are also a bunch of platforms that I guess have trouble supporting Han’s weight, since they start sinking down as soon as you land on them. So basically, you have to keep jumping, and jumping, and jumping – though if you’re not careful you’ll end up taking a flying leap.

It doesn’t fare any better once Han gets inside either. The hostile droids are still all over the place, along with a zillion clones of Zukkus the bounty hunter. Han really should get the hint that Lando’s gonna stab him in the back. Oh, and there are moving platforms, because everyone loves moving platforms, right? Moreover, you have to double-jump to get on most of the moving platforms.

Eventually, you’ll get on one of those platforms that takes you down, down, down, past many levels of stormtroopers, and then you get to fight off a bunch of Bossk clones. At least I think they’re Bossk, but they do a lot more acrobatics than Bossk does.



This level seems to take forever, but that might just be because of the ungodly number of enemies Han’s had to fight off. Oh look, you also run into Dengar. Han really should take the hint that it’s not safe here.



AND we run into IG-88 – looks like Boba invited the whole gang of bounty hunters over. Even better, IG-88 has a gun that can FREEZE Han. The effects wear off in a few seconds, though – otherwise he could just ship Jabba a frozen Han decoration right now.



Dear God, this level will eventually get you wondering “Where am I? Haven’t I been here before? Am I going in circles?” But then finally, FINALLY you reach the boss, a giant ship that looks like Slave 1.



You have to shoot off all the ship’s weapons in order to defeat it. If you’ve accumulated a good number of grenades from shooting who-knows-how-many enemies, this fight is a cinch. Then afterwards, Lando FINALLY greets Han.



Lando’s cape is also blowing in the wind – nice effect. Anyway, the greeting must have been interesting in this version of events.

“Hey Han old buddy, good to see you!”

“Thanks. Say, you wouldn’t happen to know anything about the droids and stormtroopers and bounty hunters that were all tryin’ to kill me, would you?”

“Nope, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

For the next level, Han and Chewie set off to find 3PO – and I gotta say that I love Han’s blaster pose in the cutscene.



And now we finally get to play Chewie as he goes searching through the garbage bowels for 3PO. He also gets to kill a bunch of Ugnaughts who are just doing their jobs on the way.



This level’s full of lava pits – and I mean a LOT of lava pits. Moreover, most of the time you have to leap on pieces of junk to get across and there will be laser cannons shooting at you directly above the pieces of junk. It’s practically impossible to jump across one without getting hit. However, at one point you get to ride a crane across the lava.



And what do you know – you get to fight the boss over lava too. The boss is some giant vehicle piloted by an Ugnaught.



It also drops bombs because of course. Like with most of the other vehicle bosses, you’ve gotta shoot off the weaponry before you can do actual damage to the machine – but this time you have to make sure you don’t fall into the lava as well. After you take it down, you find 3PO . . . who isn’t blown up.



So if 3PO didn’t get blown up, did he just go wandering into the garbage bowels or something? Well now we’re back to controlling Han . . . and he looks like he’s in the carbon freeze chamber



Has Lando betrayed them yet, or did Han just go wandering into the carbon freeze chamber for fun? Anyway, remember those cranes that picked you up against your will in the Mos Eisley levels from the ANH game? Probably not, but this level is FULL of them. If one picks you up, it will quickly drain your health, so you’ve gotta shoot them before they can do so, which takes ages. Fortunately, they drop a bunch of hearts to replenish your life.

Of course, shooting the cranes is made even more difficult by the ice cannons that can freeze Han before he goes to the big freeze.



Not only that, but sometimes you get to ride on moving platforms past the ice cannons, so Han gets frozen over and over.



Han’s getting a sneak peek of what’s going to happen to him very soon. Oh, I also got this screenshot of Han being frozen mid-jump. Pretty funny.



So who’s the boss of this level, you ask? Oh, nothing much, just a HUGE crane thing that spits fire and ice!



Or wait, is that the carbon freezer? Is Han fighting the actual carbon freezer? Well, whatever it is, it looks menacing, but there’s actually a certain spot to the right where you can stand and shoot it and it will hardly touch you at all. So yeah, if you stand there, this boss is super-easy.

But alas, despite Han putting up a good fight, he still got put in the BIG freeze.



And now that Han’s made his temporary exit, I think it’s break time. We’re almost at the end, people!