Liesel Plays Star Wars Games

Welcome back! Well, unfortunately Leia does NOT become a playable character. I don’t know if it’s because the game engine wouldn’t allow more than three playable characters or because the game developers thought people wouldn’t want to play Leia. I don’t WANT to call the game developers sexist, but . . . this was 1992, when a lot of people still thought video games were a boy thing and that boys wouldn’t want to play as women (it was only eight years after the first Metroid game hid Samus’s gender from the players until the end of the game). As much as I and my double-X gamer chromosomes would like to spit in the face of those people, I can’t prove one way or the other why Leia’s not playable here, so let’s just move on.

Now that we have Leia, we have to disable the tractor beam. Yup, just like in the NES game, the old fossil is too lazy to do it himself, so he leaves it up to you to do it. And guess what, this is another one of those levels with a shit-ton of movie platforms to time your jumps on. One wrong move and you can fall all the way back to the bottom.



And just like in the NES game, when you reach the tractor beam controls, it’s a boss battle. The thing spews out fireballs that can drain your health in seconds and it has a HUGE health bar.



There IS a way to replenish your health, though. At the bottom level are two droids who drop big hearts when you kill them. If you jump to the top level and then return to the bottom level, the droids will respawn. So keep jumping to the top level and returning to the bottom level to kill the droids again and again to replenish your health, shooting wildly at the tractor beam controls the whole time.

Well, after you destroy the tractor beam controls, THEN the old fossil gets off his butt to fight Vader.



Strangely enough, we don’t see Vader actually kill Obi-Wan – instead we just cut to the Falcon flying to Yavin 4 and go straight to the Death Star attack briefing.



I have to wonder if Nintendo wouldn’t allow any of the actual movie deaths to be shown onscreen – they had some strict rules back in the day, though during the SNES era they started to get more lenient about those rules (particularly when a little game called Mortal Kombat entered the scene, but that’s another story). Anyway, it’s time for the last level in the game. Once again, it’s time to destroy that Death Star!



Once again, you’re controlling Luke’s X-Wing (I like how it says “Red 5” in the character name section at the top of the screen). For the first part of the level, you’re flying around the Death Star’s surface and you have to take down twenty TIE Fighters and twenty gun towers. The TIEs are easy, the towers . . . not so much, since they tend to sneak up on you and running into one means instant death. But, with a little practice, you can ace this level and reach the final part of the game: the trench.



Now you’re in the X-Wing’s cockpit with some impressive 3-D, but there’s no time to enjoy the visuals since the place is SWARMING with TIE Fighters. Basically, you need to stay alive until you reach the exhaust port, which means shooting like a maniac. Prepare for sore fingers. This is undoubtedly the hardest part of the game (which is fitting, seeing as how it’s the last level).

Should you survive the trench, Vader’s TIE Fighter will suddenly appear in front of you. Shoot at it like crazy and it will go spinning out of control, then it’s the moment of truth: the exhaust port. Shoot your proton torpedoes at the right time and BOOM!



With Han’s words of approvement, the game is beaten! Enjoy the medal ceremony!



This game is awesome. It’s leaps and bounds ahead of all the NES Star Wars games and it does a great job making you feel like you’re playing in the movie. It’s definitely tough as nails, but there’s a HUGE sense of satisfaction when you beat it. Oh, and you can play Han, which automatically gives it positive points.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Next up, however, we’re taking on the Super Empire Strikes Back game, and just like with the NES games, the ESB game makes the ANH game look like child’s play.

The Super Nintendo is my favorite game console (although I do adore my Nintendo Switch as well) It was like the Empire Strikes Back to the NES’s A New Hope – it took everything that made the NES great and improved on it exponentially. Sooooo many amazing games that remain classics to this day came out on the SNES.

But you’re not here to listen to me ramble about the console – you’re here to watch me play the Super Star Wars games. Well, we’re starting with A New Hope, of course. I played and beat these games a while back, but it’s been a few years, so time to leap back into them. They’re awesome . . . but INSANELY difficult, even when you play on quote-unquote “Easy” mode. “Easy” in this case just means “not quite as insanely impossible as the other two modes.”



From the very beginning, you can tell that we’re leaps above the NES Star Wars games. A Wookiee growl sound is heard when you press the Start button and then you’re treated to the opening crawl with a glorious 16-bit rendition of the Star Wars theme. Then when the first level starts – look, Luke’s sprite actually looks like Luke!



Of course, you don’t have much time before creatures start attacking you. Fortunately, you’ve got tight controls and a trusty blaster, plus most of the enemies drop health-restoring hearts when you kill them. First level’s pretty basic – you run around the Tatooine desert killing scorpions, serpents that pop out the ground, giant scorpions that split up into two regular-sized scorpions, and other enemies. Along the way you pick up a blaster powerup, which gives your blaster a cool flame boost with a neat sound effect. It’s so damn fun, then before you know it, you’re at the level boss . . . the Sarlacc.



Yeah, don’t ask me what Luke’s doing in the Sarlacc pit, but since he doesn’t want to be digested for a thousand years, we’ve gotta fight it.

Since this is the first boss battle, it’s not so hard. You can actually defeat the thing by just standing off to the side and shooting at it. Sure, you’ll take damage, but if you start the battle with full health and your blaster has the flame booster, the monster will go down long before you will.

After the battle, Luke finds 3PO next to the crashed escape pod. Yeah, instead of Uncle Owen buying the droids, Luke just runs into 3PO, but that’s an understandable change for a video game adaptation since, well, there’s no action when Owen buys the droids (and hell, it’s nothing insane like Vader turning into a scorpion). As you’ll see, the cutscenes in this game are beautifully rendered.



Once again, we’ve gotta rescue R2 from the Jawas. You know, I’m noticing a pattern in these ANH games where you’re tasked with rescuing R2 from Jawas even though in the movie Owen just buys the droids from the Jawas. Guess it’s a way to get some more action in.



Level 2: Luke and 3PO are driving the landspeeder to the sandcrawler in a psudo-3D Mode-7 perspective. You’ve got to shoot twelve Jawas off their hoverbikes before you can get to the sandcrawler. Why twelve? Who knows – it’s video game logic, but they make their signature “Ootidi!” sound when you shoot them off their bikes. You’ve also got to make sure your landspeeder doesn’t run out of fuel, but there are fuel refills you can pick up throughout the level. Pretty straightforward stuff – shoot those twelve Jawas and head for the sandcrawler. Of course, the Jawas are also shooting relentlessly at you the whole time.

Well, we’re at the sandcrawler, but we still need to get IN the sandcrawler, and the Jawas don’t intend to make that easy. Apparently they’ve devised an elaborate series of moving platforms that you need to jump around in order to get in. Yes, it’s one of those levels where you need precise jumping and timing in order to advance.



Fortunately, at the beginning of the level you can collect two powerups that increase your maximum health and the sandcrawler has another blaster powerup that seeks out enemies, so the enemies themselves aren’t much of a problem. Unfortunately, if you miss a jump, you’ll probably fall back to the bottom of the sandcrawler and have to start your climb all over again. It’s entirely possible to run out the timer while jumping around the moving platforms. Hell, even though I’ve played this before, I had around thirty seconds left when I finally reached the top, shot the sandcrawler’s guns, and jumped into the sandcrawler to end the level.



Into the sandcrawler, which, as we know from the NES games, is bound to be full of death traps. Luke falls down into the sandcrawler’s bowels and yup, death traps from the get-go. Not only are endless Jawas trying to kill him, but there are elevators you’ve got to jump on, cannons that shoot lasers and fire, spiky floors (what’s an old-school platformer without spikes?), and most irritating of all, these electric gates.



These gates can’t be destroyed. At all. Moreover, they’ll instantly activate once you get close to them. The only way to get through them is to slide through them before they can activate, which takes some really precision timing. You’ll probably fail most of your attempts and take hits in the process.

Oh, and there are also conveyor belts and these giant guns that you have to shoot off the ceiling.



But hey, at least the Jawas sometimes drop different powerups in addition to hearts to help you out. They might drop shields that can temporarily protect you from blasts, time limit extensions, or . . . er, point bonuses. Yeah, who gives a shit about points – those don’t really help you at all.

Eventually you’ll reach a room where you can time your jumps on dropping platforms to get a bunch of hearts and health extensions. Then you’ll jump on an elevator going down – but it takes you to the flowing sand, and you’d better jump off before you get to the sand because the sand automatically kills Luke . . . for some reason. Yeah, he grew up in the desert but flowing sand kills him. Maybe it’s those sand-hating genes he inherited from his father.

The boss of this level is a GIANT LAVA BEAST! Shit, since when do Jawas keep such dangerous creatures around?



But although he looks menacing, he’s not that hard if you stocked up on health in the last room and collected the two blaster powerups in this level. Just stand on the platform next to him, jump to avoid his lava attacks, and shoot him til he drops. Then you can go get R2.

Fun tidbit: in the cutscene of Leia’s message that follows, the Leia hologram actually flickers like in the movie. Unfortunately, if I try to take a screenshot, the Leia hologram won’t show up in it – probably has something to do with the flickering.

The next level is pure chaos. You’ve got to navigate the Tatooine caves (great, more caves) while fending off Jawas, Sandpeople, creatures that leave behind pools of sticky goo when you shoot them, bats, and of course, rocks that can crush you.



Oh, and that’s not all. A couple of time you have to precisely jump around tiny floating rocks, some of which can’t support your weight and will sink down once you step on them.



Fortunately, the level isn’t long, and when you reach Obi-Wan he’s . . . standing around with his head bowed like a monk. For some reason I find that hilarious.



But anyway, we get another nicely-rendered cutscene of Obi-Wan and Luke’s conversation.



Then they listen to Leia’s message, which is the same as it is in the movie except for one word – but it’s a rather important word that might potentially change things pretty dramatically.

In the movie, Leia says that Obi-Wan has to get R2 delivered to Bail on Alderaan, but here, she says to deliver R2 to Bail on . . . Yavin.

Now as we all know, in canon Bail died when Alderaan went kaboom, but if he’s on Yavin 4 here . . . does that mean Bail actually SURVIVES in this version of events??

Of course the game isn’t going to tell us, but it’s something to think about.

Anyway, after the message, Obi-Wan gives Luke Anakin’s lightsaber, so now you have two weapons you can switch between whenever you want. You’ll probably want to use the lightsaber most of the time, though, since the lightsaber gives you the best move in the game. Attack with the lightsaber while doing a somersaulting jump and you’ll basically become an unstoppable spinning attack blade.

Of course, we’ve still got to get to Mos Eisley, and even with the lightsaber, it won’t be an easy trip. Now Sandpeople are chasing Luke down relentlessly and oh yeah, we’ve got to fight BANTHAS.



The banthas also EXPLODE when you kill them. I guess the Sandpeople had explosives planted in their stomachs or something.

You’ll also never guess what this level’s boss is. Go ahead, take a guess.

Did you guess?

Okay, here it is.

A mutant womp rat.



Yes, a MUTANT womp rat. Womp rats usually aren’t very big, but this one apparently mutated and got huge. You’ll need to keep an eye on your health during this battle, but there are regular-sized womp rats that you can kill for a bit of extra health.

Next is another landspeeder level which is the same as the previous one, except now you have to shoot twenty Jawas. There also seem to be more environmental hazards this time around, but don’t quote me there. Anyway, shoot the Jawas and head towards Mos Eisley.

I think it might be time for a break. After all, we’re going to Mos Eisley, and that means you-know-who’s going to show up soon!